Tuesday, June 7, 2016

That Perfect Love

Despite the miles, they just know you need a little compassion on a rough day they didn't even consciously know was rough for you.  They wake you up with your coffee just the way you like it and even put it in one of your favorite mugs.  They remember the names of the first boys you ever had a crush on and the names of the few you actually loved.  They actually know you can (and love to) sing despite your modesty.  They know the little things mean Everything.  They look at weird bumps in your mouth or other places you can't see on your own very well... when you ask them to just to reassure you that you are okay.  They fix your friend's broken stuff.  They love how you nerd out.  Their happiness makes you happier than your own.  Watching them do what they do best thrills you.  They want to know what you think about things that they don't yet understand.  They knew it just by your laughter.  They tell you that you are the best Mom in the whole entire world, out of nowhere while playing a video game in which you thought they were one hundred percent absorbed -- apparently not.  They recognize where you belong.  They sit in the hospital with you.  They somehow believe that you're the awesome one when it's clear that they are the awesome one.  They demand that you don't give up just when you were thinking maybe you should.  They tell you they've been thinking about you and that you probably felt it.  They know your Pictionary drawing from a couple of lines.  They would rather sit by you than anyone else.  They see themselves in you.  You are the one they need to be with them at the funeral.  They are thinking the same thing as you and tell you so with just a look, and you both, and only you both, understand.  They know you never lie when it matters.  They answer your questions about what their favorite things are even when they don't want to, just to make you happy.  They appear in your dreams, and you wonder if you appeared in theirs the same night by some mysterious dream power.  They send inappropriate texts with reckless abandon and remember the best Cards Against Humanity jokes.  That damn song makes them cry, too.  They give you back scratches and play with your hair.  They give you something they love for you to keep.  They share their creations with you without fear of being criticized (never in a million years).  Seeing them love their children makes you feel warm inside.  They tell you that you have the right grey matter.  They make you breakfast when they don't give a flying fuck about eating breakfast themselves.  They include knowing undertones in their word choice when they write to you.  They hug you with words.  They give you nicknames.  Their Moms love you and believe in you.  They keep the art you made them hanging up in their house.  They want to know what song inspires you this week.  They already have some of the most important old favorite songs in common with you.  They can cry in front of you anytime for any reason, which will make you cry, too.  It wouldn't feel right if they didn't show up.  They read the book just because you loved it, which they know means they will love it, too.  They pee in front of you without thinking about it at all.  They sincerely believe you are amazing.  They already know where the forks and the extra toilet paper in your house are.  They send you surprise packages and letters telling you that you are their hero, and mean it.  They tell you that you are the best daughter on the planet.  They genuinely want you to have inescapable happiness.  They play with your kids but not because they usually like to play with kids.  They bring over donuts in their clothes from last night.  They tell you they'd do it all over again just to see you feel good.  They watch Girls with you (again).  They entrust you with the knowledge of their childhood traumas that have broken parts of them, and you love them even more for trusting you and for being honest and real with you.  They tell you that you are stronger than the ages, and you believe it.  They scratch the itchy spot you can't reach.  They laugh at all your jokes, and they inspire you to be funny even when stuff hurts.  They think of you when that song comes on.  They dream of traveling somewhere with you.  They aren't embarrassed to be seen with you when you have a walker.  They give you extra kisses.  They stay on the line when you really need them to.  They recognize what is so special about you -- you know, the stuff you secretly think is special about yourself but wait quietly for someone else to finally notice and appreciate.  They wonder what you are doing right now.  They like sitting in the same room with you even when no one is talking.  They always loved you, never forgot you, and in their youth, they had the world, because of you. They inspire you to be better.  They just know you miss them without you even saying it.  Better yet, they know you love them no matter what because they KNOW you.